That Time The Apocalypse Inspired Me

We’re all just ants. We’d accomplish so many fabulous things, bigger than ourselves if we didn’t constantly force ourselves to work alone.

But people let us down, so we have to count on solely ourselves and then we are alone working on the big picture. So everyone is alone working for the greater good, possibly, but we can’t organize so we fail, because the puzzle pieces aren’t being assembled.

We are chaos if we don’t work together for the greater good. It’s our duty to save what’s good. There is so much terrible in the world, it’s our responsibility to manifest and organize the good we can.

-These are the thoughts I have while I watched one of the last few seasons of Walking Dead on Netflix-

The Houses Of My Youth

All of the childhood homes that raised me are almost now sold and gone. She said, “you just slipped right through the cracks.” She wasn’t wrong.

But it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. I still know what roads will lead back to the rooms where I can almost see my younger self in front of me. There may be construction or pavement where gravel used to be or an extra building that didn’t exist before.

No matter what changes, I’ll still see myself riding my bike towards the creek, dancing in the livingroom, video game marathons on the carpet, and singing to movies. I’ll always remember yelling to each other from different rooms, running through the yard, laughing until we could no longer breathe on the trampoline, spending all day in the pool until our skin wrinkled like prunes, and climbing those trees.

Cold Is As Cold Does

11-29-17

I sit with my travel coffee mug in a vice hold between my legs. My hands grip it tightly on either side, not to keep it upright but rather to extract the warmth it gives off. My whole body is tense trying to soak in the heat from the mug as if its a core and is heating me from the inside out. I’m wearing about four layers and two of them are jackets.

I’m not really this cold, but I haven’t adjusted to the difference in temperature from the apartment to the cold waiting for me on the passenger seat. I close my eyes contemplating whether a nap is feasible.

I open them when I notice the light flicker into existence next to me. The light seems circular like lighting a candle in a dark room. The end of Ben’s cigarette is now embers of red.

He cracks the window and blows out the smoke. The rush of the expressway around filters in through the window with the wind.

The cold coming in makes me uncomfortable the way I am when only using a knitted afghan blanket for warmth. ย All my body heat escaping through the tiny holes, leaving me somewhere in between not warm enough and too cold to be comfortable.

Ben finishes his cigarette and closes the window. The heat fully envelopes me once again and my whole body instantly relaxes. I close my eyes again looking for sleep.

12-29-17

I’m sure someone has said it before, but there is something romantic about snow. Maybe it’s because it has a magical quality to it when it falls and it certainly helps that it sparkles.

At least it’s romantic when it’s not sending people into ditches and negative degree temperatures aren’t stealing all the moisture we possess causing our skin to crack and/or to resemble ash. Still there is something to be said about a child dancing in it while it falls. Even someone alone or maybe with a friend or a lover.

1-31-18

The wind is quick and menacing this morning. It isn’t just because it’s 5 a.m. and dark. The snow is pulled off the rooftops as if the wind is ripping it away with invisible claws.

The snow jumps from the roof in shreds or strings before it falls like salt. On the carports the snow moves like mist or smoke creeping off the top of them. Snow billowing off the metal roofs like steam from a boiling pot or an ominous rolling fog.

4-8-18

We don’t expect any different here in Michigan, however it doesn’t stop us from pointing it out. Winter is still invading spring. Pun very much intended in all the ways possible, it’s quite a cold war we’re having over here.

Why Stenographer For My Thoughts

Thanks for joining me!

I once had someone ask me what I was thinking about, probably because I was staring off into space as I do. Or maybe it was because I was quiet as usual and he wished to know what was going on in my head.

I remarked that I wasn’t sure, because my brain moves sort of quickly. He likened this to fish in a river with a particularly fast current. I agreed with this example. Theres isย  a lot going on up there.

Sometimes I just want to sit down and write but it’s always when I’m at work or when there are too many distractions to focus on my thoughts. I wish there was a device I could hook up to my brain and take down my thoughts so I could visit them later and fully form them like I’d like to.

This is exactly why I wish I had a stenographer to tap into my stream of thoughts and type them out so I could put them together later. So whatever I manage to catch in the strong current of my mind I will attempt to relay it back here. I hope you enjoy what I manage to catch.

P.S. This quote was a default for the first post, but I liked it, so I kept it.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. โ€” Izaak Walton