It’s like writing letters with someone. You’re waiting for a letter to come in everyday. Wondering what it will say and what the person’s been doing.
You finally get a letter and it’s almost more entertaining than you had anticipated the letter being, especially since it’s just a piece of paper with words. It’s also inquisitive enough to make you think all the letters will be as lovely.
After writing a response a while later you receive another fantastic letter in response. You respond again, but this time you wait so much longer than before to receive another.
When you do finally receive another letter it’s vague with chit chat type of conversation. None of your previous questions answered. Giving you entirely new questions and furthermore concerns that cannot be properly voiced through a pen to paper.
The letter itself is flat and neat, but you’ve become so attached to the delightful letters that this disinterested and disconnected response makes you crumple slightly inward. So what do you do? You try to be all the more entertaining to inspire the former interest you had received previously.
Unfortunately, you get these same type of letters a couple more times. The time checking the mailbox each day, becomes a larger number of days between each letter. Until you no longer receive any, no matter how many you send to revitalize a connection again.
However, after you feel you’ve recovered from your attachment, you receive a letter not nearly as entertaining as the first few, but it conveys more interest than the last ones you’d received. This gives you just enough hope to want more and hang on.
Even though the letter wasn’t much, it makes you feel remembered and special. You’ve foolishly become hopeful. But you shouldn’t, because your sender was probably either bored, lonely, or fickle. You get to thinking you’re on the precipice of rekindling that flame that burned at the start of the correspondence.
You haven’t learned this lesson. Or rather, you need to go through it a couple more times before it sticks. So you’ll keep getting the small amount of grip you need to keep hanging off that cliff, but never enough to pull yourself up and go on home. At least…not yet. You will. Just not yet.