Black sheep of the family. Some think its them, but let me tell you. If your family has always saved you a place and they want you around, its not you. How can you think you’re on the outside, when you’re there and they accept and remember you?
Even before we lost the linchpin, we weren’t given a seat at your tables. I regret saving any of you a seat at mine. I wish we’d realized sooner that we deserved more than twisting ourselves into shapes you’d all accept, love, and approve of. It’s become clear that we’ll never be enough. We should’ve never had to fight for our place.
Must’ve been some prenatal blood thinners while in the womb, cause it seems we’re sporting a lower viscosity. We’re just water, water under the bridge. Forgotten with the current, like we’ve always been. I’m washing my hands with it. I’m all set, because I no longer desire a seat at your tables. I know who counts us as their own.
Or at least this is my take on sunlight on the backs of my eyelids. I had a few different ideas for this, because I’ve been meaning to do this painting for a while.
Also the direction the sun is hitting you and how you’re facing and how bright it is on your face at the time changes this idea/view. Each effects the image on my eyelids and this was just my favorite, because it reminds me of light reflecting on water. I’m not sure if I achieved that, but I’m happy with my result either way.
I love the feeling of the warmth, peace, and happiness that sunlight dancing across my closed eyelids creates for me and I tried to capture that. I think I’ll get a little bit of that when I look at it, so I’m glad I finally managed to start and complete it. I plan on doing one with a night concept, probably will be quite different even though I plan on displaying the paintings together once they’re both finished.